LIFE IS A COMPETITION: You Might as Well Win

LIFE IS A COMPETITION

You Might as Well Win

Introduction

“Life is a competition. You might as well win.”

At first glance, that statement may sound aggressive. It may sound as though life is about defeating everyone around you, accumulating more money, having the biggest house, driving the nicest car, winning every argument, or standing on top while everybody else stands below.

That isn't what I mean at all.

I believe the greatest competition you will ever face is not with the person standing next to you.

It is with the person staring back at you in the mirror.

Life presents us with choices every single day.

Get up or stay down.

Try or quit.

Work or procrastinate.

Forgive or remain angry.

Save or spend.

Exercise or sit.

Learn or remain comfortable.

Love or withdraw.

Speak positively or complain.

Take responsibility or make excuses.

Move forward or remain exactly where you are.

Those are competitions.

And every day, whether we recognize it or not, one side wins.

I have always believed there is tremendous value in wanting to win. There is nothing wrong with ambition. There is nothing wrong with wanting to succeed. There is nothing wrong with setting a goal and saying, “I am going after that.”

Somewhere along the way, however, we began treating competition almost as though it were a character flaw.

We sometimes hesitate to say we want to win because we don't want to sound selfish or overly competitive.

But winning doesn't have to mean somebody else loses.

Your success doesn't require somebody else's failure.

Your improvement doesn't diminish another person's accomplishments.

You can cheer for the people around you while still expecting more from yourself.

You can help somebody climb the mountain while continuing to climb your own.

That is healthy competition.

And perhaps the most important competition is this:

Can today's version of you defeat yesterday's version of you?

Can you become a little more disciplined?

A little more patient?

A little healthier?

A little wiser?

A little kinder?

A little more courageous?

A little more financially responsible?

A little more loving?

A little more grateful?

Because ultimately, life isn't about collecting victories over other people.

It's about refusing to surrender the possibilities within yourself.

You have been given one life.

One opportunity.

One journey.

One collection of days whose number none of us knows.

So participate.

Compete.

Grow.

Challenge yourself.

And if you're going to enter the competition anyway, you might as well try to win.

YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE GAME

Nobody asked us whether we wanted to enter the game of life.

We arrived.

And the clock started.

Every one of us receives twenty-four hours each day.

What we do with those hours begins shaping our lives.

Some people use them intentionally.

Others allow them to disappear.

That difference compounds.

One workout doesn't transform your body.

One dollar saved doesn't create financial security.

One book doesn't make you wise.

One act of kindness doesn't define your character.

But repeat those behaviors thousands of times and something remarkable happens.

They become a life.

The competition is rarely decided by one enormous moment.

It is usually decided by thousands of seemingly insignificant decisions.

YOUR BIGGEST OPPONENT IS COMFORT

Most people imagine competition as two people fighting for the same prize.

But one of life's greatest opponents doesn't have a face.

Its name is comfort.

Comfort whispers:

Do it tomorrow.

Sleep another hour.

Don't take the chance.

Don't make the call.

Don't start the business.

Don't write the book.

Don't apologize.

Don't change.

Don't risk embarrassment.

Don't try because you might fail.

Comfort feels wonderful today and can become incredibly expensive tomorrow.

Growth often asks us to become uncomfortable temporarily so that we can create something better permanently.

Winning means occasionally telling comfort:

“Not today.”

COMPETE AGAINST WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY

Comparing yourself constantly with other people is exhausting.

There will always be somebody richer.

Younger.

Faster.

Stronger.

More attractive.

More successful.

More educated.

More popular.

Trying to defeat everyone is an impossible competition.

So change the scoreboard.

Compare yourself with yourself.

Ask:

Am I better than I was last year?

Have I learned something?

Have I improved my relationships?

Am I taking better care of myself?

Have I become more disciplined?

Am I managing my money more wisely?

Am I becoming the person I said I wanted to become?

That is a competition worth entering.

Because the prize isn't a trophy.

The prize is your life.

WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS LOOK LIKE WINNING

Sometimes winning means finishing first.

Sometimes it means simply finishing.

Sometimes winning means holding on.

Sometimes it means letting go.

Sometimes it means earning more money.

Sometimes it means realizing money isn't everything.

Sometimes it means fighting for a relationship.

Sometimes it means recognizing when a relationship has become destructive and walking away.

Sometimes winning means saying yes.

Sometimes it requires having the courage to say no.

Sometimes winning means speaking.

Sometimes it means remaining silent.

Sometimes winning means proving somebody wrong.

But occasionally, the greatest victory is realizing you don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Wisdom teaches us that winning isn't one particular destination.

Winning means living according to your values and becoming the person you believe you were capable of becoming.

STOP KEEPING SCORE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE'S SCOREBOARD

One of the quickest ways to feel unsuccessful is to measure your life using somebody else's definition of success.

Maybe they want the enormous house.

Maybe you want freedom.

Maybe they want the corner office.

Maybe you want more time with your family.

Maybe they want recognition.

Maybe you want peace.

Maybe they want millions of followers.

Maybe you want five people who genuinely love you.

Neither choice automatically makes someone better.

The important question is:

What does winning mean to you?

Define it.

Otherwise, society will define it for you.

LOSING IS PART OF WINNING

If you genuinely compete in life, you are going to lose sometimes.

You will fail.

You will make mistakes.

You will trust the wrong person.

You will make a bad investment.

You will miss opportunities.

You will say things you regret.

You will occasionally give everything you have and still come up short.

That doesn't make you a loser.

It makes you a participant.

The person who never fails may simply be the person who never attempted anything difficult.

Failure can teach.

Failure can humble.

Failure can redirect.

Failure can strengthen.

The important thing is not whether you occasionally lose.

The important thing is whether losing convinces you to stop playing.

Get back up.

HELP OTHER PEOPLE WIN

Here is one of life's wonderful paradoxes:

You can win while helping somebody else win.

Encourage people.

Teach what you know.

Share opportunities.

Open doors.

Celebrate somebody else's success.

Give advice.

Offer encouragement.

Tell someone, “I believe in you.”

Life doesn't have to be a zero-sum game.

Some of the greatest victories occur when everybody involved becomes better.

Your light does not become dimmer because somebody else's light becomes brighter.

THE CLOCK IS RUNNING

There is another reality we sometimes prefer not to discuss.

The game has a time limit.

We don't know what that limit is.

That shouldn't frighten us.

It should motivate us.

There are things you keep saying you're going to do someday.

Places you'll visit someday.

People you'll call someday.

Dreams you'll pursue someday.

Changes you'll make someday.

But someday isn't on the calendar.

There is Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Thursday.

Friday.

Saturday.

Sunday.

There is today.

Use it.

Conclusion

So yes, I believe life is a competition.

But perhaps not in the way we traditionally understand competition.

You don't need to defeat your neighbor.

You don't need to have more than your brother.

You don't need to prove you're smarter than your coworker.

You don't need to have a better house than your friend.

You don't need more followers, more possessions, more recognition, or more applause than somebody else.

That isn't the competition that ultimately matters.

The competition is between what you are and what you could become.

Between discipline and excuses.

Between courage and fear.

Between gratitude and resentment.

Between persistence and surrender.

Between action and procrastination.

Between living intentionally and simply allowing another day to disappear.

Every morning, the competition begins again.

Yesterday doesn't get to play today's game.

Maybe yesterday was terrible.

Maybe you failed.

Maybe you embarrassed yourself.

Maybe you made a mistake.

Maybe you wasted the day.

Fine.

Yesterday's scoreboard is closed.

Today starts at zero.

What are you going to do with it?

Maybe winning today means exercising for twenty minutes.

Maybe it means making the telephone call you've been avoiding.

Maybe it means apologizing.

Maybe it means forgiving someone.

Maybe it means beginning the project you've talked about for years.

Maybe it means spending an uninterrupted hour with someone you love.

Maybe it means putting down your phone and enjoying your life.

Maybe winning today simply means refusing to quit.

We sometimes make success unnecessarily complicated.

We think winning must involve some spectacular achievement that everyone notices.

But most great lives aren't built that way.

They're built quietly.

One decision.

One conversation.

One workout.

One prayer.

One act of courage.

One dollar saved.

One page written.

One temptation resisted.

One person encouraged.

One promise kept.

One more attempt after failure.

Again and again and again.

Eventually, those tiny victories become character.

Character becomes behavior.

Behavior becomes habit.

Habit becomes direction.

And direction becomes destiny.

You don't need to win every day.

You won't.

Nobody does.

But you can keep competing.

You can keep learning.

You can keep adjusting.

You can keep growing.

You can keep getting back up.

And perhaps that is what a winner really is.

Not somebody who never loses.

A winner is somebody who refuses to allow a loss to become the end of the story.

So decide what winning means to you.

Not to society.

Not to your neighbor.

Not to social media.

Not to people trying to impress you with their possessions.

To you.

Maybe winning means financial independence.

Maybe it means raising wonderful children.

Maybe it means building a business.

Maybe it means creating something meaningful.

Maybe it means strengthening your faith.

Maybe it means becoming healthier.

Maybe it means traveling.

Maybe it means helping others.

Maybe it means waking up every morning genuinely grateful to be alive.

Whatever it is, identify it.

Then start moving toward it.

Don't wait for perfect circumstances.

Don't wait until you're completely confident.

Don't wait until everybody understands.

Don't wait until somebody gives you permission.

And don't spend your life sitting in the stands watching everybody else participate.

Get on the field.

Play.

Try.

Risk.

Fail.

Learn.

Adjust.

Get back up.

Help someone else along the way.

Love deeply.

Laugh often.

Be grateful.

And keep moving forward.

Because whether we acknowledge it or not, the clock is running.

The days are passing.

The game is underway.

And you have been given the extraordinary privilege of participating.

So participate fully.

Give life everything you've got.

Become a little better than you were yesterday.

And when life knocks you down, stand back up and compete again.

Because life is a competition.

You might as well win.

Bill Conley
America's Favorite Life Coach