ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS: The Forgotten Value of Shutting Out the World

 

ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS

The Forgotten Value of Shutting Out the World

Introduction

There was once a time when silence was simply part of life.

You could sit on a porch without a telephone buzzing in your pocket. You could drive down the road without receiving a notification. You could eat breakfast without checking headlines from around the world. You could go for a walk without listening to a podcast, music, news, or somebody else's opinion. You could spend an hour, an afternoon, or even an entire day without knowing what was happening thousands of miles away.

And somehow, we survived.

Today, silence almost feels uncomfortable.

From the moment we wake up, the world comes rushing toward us.

Check your phone.

Read your messages.

Look at your email.

Turn on the television.

Check social media.

Listen to the radio.

Read the headlines.

Find out what happened overnight.

See what everyone is talking about.

Watch another video.

Read another opinion.

Respond to another notification.

Before we have even had an opportunity to ask ourselves, "How am I doing today?", we have allowed hundreds of other people, organizations, advertisers, commentators, politicians, entertainers, influencers, and strangers to enter our minds.

Maybe that is something worth reconsidering.

We have somehow convinced ourselves that we need to know what is happening every moment of every day.

But do we?

Do we really need another breaking news alert?

Do we need to know what somebody we have never met said five minutes ago?

Do we need to participate in every controversy?

Do we need to know what is trending?

Do we need to listen to another argument?

Do we need to carry the troubles of the entire world around with us every waking hour?

I don't think we do.

In fact, I believe there is tremendous value in occasionally doing exactly the opposite.

Shut it down.

Turn off the television.

Turn off the radio.

Put away the phone.

Turn off the music.

Stay away from social media.

Don't check the news.

Don't worry about what is trending.

Don't worry about what everyone else thinks you should know.

For a little while, allow the world to continue without you.

It will.

The world does not require your constant attention in order to keep turning.

Give yourself permission to disappear from the noise for an hour, an afternoon, perhaps even an entire day.

Sit somewhere peaceful.

Walk outside.

Look at the sky.

Listen to the birds.

Pray.

Meditate.

Think.

Breathe.

Remember.

Dream.

Or simply sit there and do absolutely nothing.

There is nothing wrong with being alone with your thoughts.

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves in this incredibly noisy world is the opportunity to hear our own voice again.

THE WORLD IS COMPETING FOR YOUR ATTENTION

Your attention has tremendous value.

Companies know it.

Advertisers know it.

Social media platforms know it.

Television networks know it.

News organizations know it.

Politicians know it.

Entertainers know it.

Everybody seems to want a piece of your attention.

The problem is that your attention is not unlimited.

Every minute you spend absorbing somebody else's thoughts is a minute you are not spending examining your own.

Think about how much information passes through your mind during an ordinary day.

War.

Crime.

Politics.

Economic uncertainty.

Celebrity scandals.

Arguments.

Accidents.

Natural disasters.

Predictions.

Warnings.

Opinions.

Advertisements.

Social media posts.

Much of this information has absolutely nothing to do with what you are doing at that particular moment.

You might be sitting safely in your kitchen drinking coffee while your mind is emotionally reacting to something happening 5,000 miles away.

You cannot control it.

You cannot change it.

You may not even completely understand it.

Yet you have allowed it into your mind, and now you are carrying it around with you.

Why?

Because somebody told you it was important that you know about it right now.

But perhaps it isn't.

There is a difference between being informed and being consumed.

There is a difference between understanding the world and allowing the world to dominate your thoughts.

There is a difference between awareness and obsession.

We should know the difference.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW

This may sound almost rebellious today, but here it is:

You do not need to know everything that is happening.

You certainly don't need to know everything immediately.

If something truly important happens today and you don't discover it until tomorrow morning, chances are your life will continue just fine.

The modern world has created an artificial sense of urgency.

BREAKING NEWS.

URGENT.

JUST IN.

TRENDING NOW.

YOU NEED TO SEE THIS.

Do you?

Maybe you don't.

There are certainly situations when immediate information matters. But most of what is presented to us as urgent isn't urgent to our individual lives at all.

It can wait.

And while it waits, something remarkable can happen.

You can live your life.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE NOISE STOPS?

At first, silence can feel strange.

You may instinctively reach for your phone.

You may wonder whether someone texted you.

You may suddenly remember that you haven't checked your email.

You may wonder what is happening in the news.

Resist the temptation.

Sit there.

Walk.

Breathe.

Give silence a chance.

After a while, something begins to change.

Your mind begins to settle.

The outside voices become quieter.

And underneath all that noise, you may begin hearing something you haven't heard clearly in a long time.

Yourself.

What am I thinking?

What am I feeling?

What matters to me?

What am I grateful for?

What have I been worrying about unnecessarily?

What do I want to accomplish?

Who do I love?

Who needs to hear from me?

What have I been postponing?

What makes me happy?

What gives my life meaning?

Those questions rarely arrive through a notification.

They usually arrive in silence.

REST IS NOT WASTED TIME

We have developed a strange relationship with rest.

We sometimes feel guilty when we aren't doing something.

If we sit quietly, we think we should be working.

If we're walking, we think we should be listening to something educational.

If we're driving, we turn on music or talk radio.

If we're waiting somewhere for three minutes, out comes the phone.

We fill every empty space.

But perhaps those empty spaces aren't empty at all.

Perhaps that is where reflection lives.

Perhaps that is where creativity lives.

Perhaps that is where gratitude lives.

Perhaps that is where perspective lives.

Perhaps that is where peace lives.

You don't always have to be productive.

You don't always have to be entertained.

You don't always have to be informed.

Sometimes you simply need to be.

TRY A DAY WITHOUT THE WORLD

Try an experiment.

Not forever.

Just for a while.

Put your phone somewhere you can't easily reach it.

Don't turn on the television.

Don't listen to the radio.

Don't play music.

Don't check Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X, YouTube, or whatever else normally consumes your attention.

Don't read the news.

Don't check what is trending.

Don't worry about what everybody else is doing.

Go outside.

Sit somewhere comfortable.

Take a walk.

Watch the clouds.

Listen to the wind moving through the trees.

Drink a cup of coffee without looking at a screen.

Have lunch without your phone sitting beside your plate.

Think about your life.

Think about the people you love.

Think about where you have been.

Think about where you are going.

Or don't think about anything at all.

Just rest.

Then notice how you feel.

You may discover something surprising.

You didn't miss the world nearly as much as you thought you would.

And perhaps even more importantly, the world didn't collapse because you stopped watching it.

PROTECT WHAT ENTERS YOUR MIND

We understand the importance of protecting our bodies.

We think about what we eat.

We think about what we drink.

We exercise.

We rest.

We take vacations.

But how often do we think seriously about protecting our minds?

Everything you repeatedly consume mentally becomes part of your internal environment.

Fear enters.

Anger enters.

Conflict enters.

Comparison enters.

Negativity enters.

Other people's opinions enter.

Eventually, we can become so filled with the thoughts of the outside world that we have difficulty distinguishing them from our own.

That is why stepping away matters.

Silence creates separation.

It gives you an opportunity to ask:

Is this really how I feel, or is this how I've been told to feel?

That is an incredibly important question.

ALONE DOES NOT HAVE TO MEAN LONELY

There is an enormous difference between loneliness and solitude.

Loneliness can feel like something is missing.

Solitude can feel like something has been restored.

Learning to enjoy your own company is one of life's great freedoms.

You don't need somebody constantly entertaining you.

You don't need constant conversation.

You don't need a screen constantly showing you something.

You don't need music filling every quiet moment.

Sometimes you can simply sit with yourself and say:

This is enough.

I am here.

I am alive.

I have today.

I have people I love.

I have things for which I am grateful.

I have dreams that still matter.

I have another opportunity to live this day well.

That is not loneliness.

That is presence.

Conclusion: Find Yourself in the Silence

Maybe the world isn't going to become quieter.

Maybe technology will continue becoming faster.

Maybe there will be more notifications tomorrow than there were today.

More headlines.

More videos.

More arguments.

More commentary.

More predictions.

More opinions.

More people demanding that we pay attention.

We may not be able to quiet the world.

But we can decide when we listen to it.

That distinction matters.

You have the right to protect your peace.

You have the right to turn off the television.

You have the right to stop reading the news.

You have the right to leave your phone in another room.

You have the right to ignore social media.

You have the right to say, "Not today."

The world will still be there tomorrow.

The headlines will still be there.

The arguments will still be there.

The notifications will patiently wait for your return.

But perhaps after spending some time away from all of it, you will return differently.

Perhaps calmer.

Perhaps more centered.

Perhaps more grateful.

Perhaps more aware of what actually deserves your attention.

Perhaps you will discover that some things you previously considered important really weren't very important at all.

And perhaps you will begin asking a different question.

Instead of asking, "What is happening in the world today?"

You might ask:

"What is happening inside me today?"

That may be the more important question.

We spend tremendous amounts of time learning about people we don't know, events we cannot control, arguments we cannot resolve, and problems we cannot personally fix.

Meanwhile, there is a life directly in front of us asking to be lived.

There is a spouse waiting for our attention.

A child or grandchild waiting for a conversation.

A friend who might appreciate a telephone call.

A beautiful morning waiting outside.

A sunset waiting to be noticed.

A dream waiting to be pursued.

A prayer waiting to be spoken.

A memory waiting to be appreciated.

And sometimes we miss all of it because we are staring at a screen trying to discover what happened somewhere else.

What if, just occasionally, somewhere else didn't matter?

What if here mattered?

What if now mattered?

What if the people sitting beside us mattered more than the people appearing on our screens?

What if our peace mattered more than knowing the latest controversy?

What if our thoughts deserved as much attention as everybody else's thoughts?

Give yourself permission to find out.

Take an hour.

Take an afternoon.

Take a day.

Shut it all down.

No television.

No news.

No radio.

No social media.

Maybe even no music.

Let silence become your companion instead of something you immediately try to escape.

At first, you may hear nothing.

Then you may hear the birds.

The wind.

Your breathing.

Your footsteps.

And eventually, beneath everything else, you may hear something much more important.

Your own thoughts.

Listen to them.

They have been competing with an incredibly noisy world for your attention.

Give them some time.

You may discover dreams you had forgotten.

You may rediscover gratitude.

You may realize that some of your worries aren't worth carrying.

You may remember what makes you happy.

You may reconnect with your faith, your purpose, your family, your priorities, or simply yourself.

And when you eventually turn the world back on, perhaps you will do so differently.

You won't have to answer every notification.

You won't have to follow every controversy.

You won't have to participate in every argument.

You won't have to know everything immediately.

You can choose what deserves entrance into your mind.

Because your attention belongs to you.

Your thoughts belong to you.

Your time belongs to you.

And your peace is far too valuable to surrender to a world that never stops asking for your attention.

So every once in a while, turn everything off.

Walk away from the noise.

Sit quietly.

Breathe deeply.

Look around.

Think.

Pray.

Meditate.

Remember.

Dream.

Rest.

Be alone with your thoughts.

You may be surprised by how peaceful the world becomes when, for a little while, you simply stop listening to it.

Bill Conley
America's Favorite Life Coach