I am not good enough, I don't measure up, I don’t deserve it, and I am not worth it.
How many times do we
tell ourselves I am not good enough! Good enough for what? To
be loved, accepted, recognized, appreciated, acknowledged, understood,
approved, regarded, to go to heaven.
You’re not
good enough, you don’t measure up. Do people really say these things or do they
insinuate them by comparison?
Insinuate – to introduce (e.g. suspicion) slyly.
To introduce oneself by sly or ingenious means. To hint.
Does a parent go
around telling their children that they are worthless, unlovable, and unworthy of
existence? Yes, they do, their words cut to the heart of a child like a torpedo
hitting its target. Within the heart of a child, they are blown to pieces. This
person who is supposed to love, respect, and support them is destroying them
and they have no means of defending themselves from this verbal missile attack
on their character. All too often these verbal attacks like torpedoes are
designed to produce a reaction within the recipient or target. Our parents mean
well when they say “when I was your age” or tell stories of their childhood
which clearly demonstrate how much more difficult it was for them than it is
for you now. It may be more subtle than that, they may not recognize or
appreciate the effort you put into a project or event. They may give you a
cursory compliment followed by the phrase “next time” all in an effort to
create confidence that you can do better next time.
These subtle forms of
comparison often destroy young child and lead them to believe they are
Never good enough,
They will never measure,
They never deserve
to be loved,
They never can
stop striving for perfection,
They never can
be appreciated for the effort they put into something,
That they always could
achieve more,
Always do more,
Always be more.
No grade in school is
ever enough, no amount of success in sports is ever enough, no amount of
helping around the house is good enough, and no amount of dedication or
devotion to the church is good enough.
You get the idea, we
are drummed into our fragile emotional state as a young child that our parents
had it harder, they did it better with less means, they were smarter, less
understood and appreciated, they are working hard all for our benefit, because
their parents did not appreciate and recognize them, they are going to do the
same to their children.
What does that do for the child?
The child grows up
believing they are unworthy of love, affection, romance, success, and countless
other virtues because they have been taught at a tender age that they will
never measure up to their parents or their parent's expectations.
Parents destroy a
child’s self-worth, image, and esteem for life by their constant picking,
comparing, needling, and relentless attempt to get their child to conform,
achieve more, and be like them.
Well, we are not our
parents, we will never be our parents, as adults we need to break out of the
chains that bind us.
We are not inferior,
worthless, undeserving, unlovable, fragile, and insecure.
We don't need to
compromise who we are in order to receive the benefits of love, acceptance,
romance, and security.
We are all deserving
of love from one another.
We all deserve God’s love for us. God
loves each and every one of us. A child whose self-worth, esteem, acceptance, and love have not been built up grows up with incredible insecurity. There is no
foundation to fall back on in times of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. It is very
important to instill in children at a young age that our God Lord loves them,
that we love them, and that we accept them, as the unique person that they are. We
all have our differences from one another that do not make us any more or less
likable or lovable. We are a gift from God, God's chosen people, loved by our
Father despite our imperfections and infirmities. We have great worth in his
eyes. If we continue to believe in the name of our Lord Jesus, obey his
commandments, and pray continuously, we will find peace, happiness,s and joy.
I desire to be like the wise man as told
in the story of Matthew 7:24-29.
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of
mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the
rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the
winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its
foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these
words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who
built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the
streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with
a great crash.”
28 When Jesus had finished saying these things,
the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29 because he taught
as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.”
Therefore everyone who
hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who
built his house on a rock. The rain came down and the streams rose and the
winds blew and beat against the house, yet it did not fall, because it had its
foundation on the rock. Psalms 18:2 – I love you my
Lord my strength. The Lord is my rock my fortress and my deliverer, my God is
my rock, in which I take refuge. He is my shield and my horn of my salvation,
my stronghold. I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise and I am saved from
my enemies. Matthew 16:18 – Jesus says and I tell you
that are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades
will not overcome it. Does a wise man build his house upon the rock, we are that house; we are a holy temple of the Lord. 1
Corinthians 3:16 – Don’t you know that you yourself are God's
holy temple and that God's spirit lives within you.
We are the temple of
the Lord, a wise man will build his house upon the rock, is Peter that rock?
No! Is God that rock? Yes. We are to build our house upon the foundation of the
Lord, not Peter.
Remember we are called
to love our neighbor as ourselves. We are called to live in peace, in harmony,
to avoid contention, be slow to anger, be filled with compassion and sympathy,
do what is good, forgive others, serve others without expectation, be joyful in
everything, pray continuously, love the truth, honor and obey our parents, have
faith, hope, charity, keep no records of wrongs, have patient endurance, love
our neighbors as ourselves.
Insecurity – not adequately protected or guarded,
unsafe. Unstable. Not self-confident.
Security – freedom from risk or danger, safety.
Freedom from doubt, anxiety, fear; confidence.
Confidence – reliance on trust. A trusting
relationship. A feeling of self-assurance. In the 23rd Psalm
verse 4 – Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff comfort
me. Philippians 1:6 – Being confident of this,
that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the
day of Christ Jesus.
I am confident and
have full faith in my salvation. I trust the Lord will see me through any time
of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. I love the Lord with all of my heart and soul,
in him I shall never hunger or thirst. I will not let Satan have a foothold,
everything good comes from God, and everything evil comes from Satan. I will
not dwell on the past, I will live for the Lord today, and I will serve his
children today. Even though I walk through the valley of fear, uncertainty, and
doubt I will trust in the Lord to complete his good work in me until the day he
comes again on a cloud from heaven. I love you, my Lord, I thank you for this
day and I sing praises to your name. Bless me as I live this day, protect me
from all evil and spiritual harm. May your will be done in my life Heavenly
Father, not mine, and may you bless me with patience and endurance.
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