I feel rejected by my children, written from a divorced Father's point of view.

Rejected by my children

Written from a divorced Fathers point of view.

Do you ever feel as though you are being rejected by your children? I do and it affects many aspects of my life.

I was divorced 2 ½ years ago and my children still left in the nest are 14 and 16.  My ex-wife moved away from the neighborhood we were living in a year ago to a part of the State that was approximately 1 hour diving distance away.  I begged and pleaded with her to not move the children away, much to my dismay, my voice was not heard. 

I offered her plenty of reasons why it would be in the best interest of the children and my relationship with them that she and her new husband stay in the area so it would not be so difficult for me to see my children.

You see, my ex-wife refuses to drive the children to see me. So if I want to see my children, it is up to me to drive to see them and or pick them up to come and visit with me.  Even though the divorce decree indicates she needs to drive one way, she refuses to drive at all.

My weekly mid-week visitations since she moved do not occur at all, basically because my children suggest to me that they are to busy to see me and also because it would take me 2 hours round trip to drive and visit them which I would gladly do if they would allow me the time to just come up and see them, if even for a few minutes.

I am suppose to have my children with me every other weekend, but since the divorce, my ex-wife refuses to participate in making those weekends happen and suggest that it is up to the children if they want to come and see me.

For the record, my ex-wife does not want to communicate with me and tells me that all visitation communication is up to the children. 

Correct me if I am wrong, but are my ex-wife and I the adults in the room?

My two children are extremely active teenagers and routinely tell me they have no time for me on the weekends.

To make matters worse, my daughters are very active in their church which makes seeing them very difficult on Sundays. 

I take my responsibility of being a Father very seriously and want with all my heart to spend time with my children.

I also understand that my children are teenagers and choose to spend time with their friends and my ex-wife rather than spending time with me.

That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt and that I feel rejected by my children, I do.

This year, my children have not spent an entire weekend with me.

In fact, I don’t think they have slept in my home more than a couple of times.

If you were to ask my ex-wife why the children are not spending time with me, she would say it is because it is because I don’t want to see them, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I love my children and this divorce is costing me the relationship I could have had with my children.  I knew this and that is why I did not want to get divorced. I knew that if I got divorced, my relationship with my children would suffer and it has.

It doesn’t help that my ex-wife moved an hour away and that my children are active teenagers.

What’s a man to do?  I can’t force my children to see me.  I suggest all the time to them that I want to be in their life.  I make an effort all the time to come to their activities, but yet, I don’t know of half the activities that they participate in. 

I miss my daughters and love them with all my heart.  I feel so rejected by them.

When your own children who should love you unconditionally reject you, it is hard for me to believe anyone could actually love and accept me.

My friends tell me to be patient, that they are active teenagers and when they get older they will be back.  I don’t want to miss these years with them. I miss my children.

Everyone has struggles in life, how we deal with them makes all the difference. 

I accept the fact that my children don’t want to spend time with me right now.  I accept that fact that their friends are more important to them than I am right now.  I accept the fact that my ex-wife has made it more difficult by moving away for me to see my children as frequently as I once did.  I just don’t like the facts.

Feeling rejected by your children is a feeling I know I own. I know my children are not purposely rejecting me.  I know my children don’t set out to reject me.  I know my children love me. I know my children when we are together love the time we spend together. For me, the time we do spend together is not enough and I am missing out on being a Father to my two children. Time I will never get back. I am missing them growing up and for that I am extremely sad.

I don’t blame my children.  I remember my teenage years, I didn’t spend a great deal of time with my parents, but then again, my parents were not divorced and I saw them every day. I don’t get to see my children every day.  I don’t get to experience breakfast or dinner with them, I don’t get to sit with them before they go to bed and ask them about their day and let them know I love them. I don’t get the opportunity to share their life and my life with them face to face and read the expressions on their face.

I miss my children, I love my children, I pray for my children.

I let them know all the time how important they are to me, until I see them again, that is all I can do.