We pick our friends a lot like we pick our cloths

We pick our friends a lot like we pick our clothes

                                                                       

Friends are like clothes, picture this. You walk into a department store with racks and racks of clothes. All types of clothes, all types of departments, all shapes and sizes, colors and fabrics, each with its own price tag. Now envision yourself walking around the store looking at the clothes on the rack.

We choose our friendships like we choose our clothes.

We have all kinds of friends. Some friends we like to go to church with, some we like to go out and party with, some we like to work with, others we like to play sports with and still others we enjoy spending our leisure time with.

Within the department store you will find departments with various categories or grouping of clothes. We have work, leisure; athletic, intimate, outdoor, indoor, church… all types of clothes categories.

We shop around the store in search of clothes that will make us look and feel good about ourselves.

We head up to the rack and start looking through the clothes occasionally selecting one, picking it out and giving it a closer inspection. If we like what we see we may take it and press it against our body and go look in a mirror to see what it would look like if we were to put it on. If we really like it, and we can afford the price – it fits into our budget and satisfies a perceived need for this garment – we may go to the dressing room and try it on. We will look in the mirror and carefully study its fit, its form and then ask ourselves will this garment accomplish what I have in mind for it, will it meet our expectation. 

If we are with others we may even ask them their opinion of the garment as it appears on us. If we decide it won’t meet or match our expectation we immediately discard the item and go searching again. If we decide it does meet or match our expectation we go to the cash register to purchase it. The cashier puts it in a bag and we take it home. We may or may not be done shopping. We may try on several items, we may view a number of different items, and each time we judge whether or not that garment will meet or exceed our expectation.

We are constantly looking for clothes that make us feel and look good.

Once we have the garment home we may or may not try it on again and then we will put it away for future use. When we do finally get a chance to wear it out we feel good about the way this garment makes us look. We may even fish for compliments regarding its appearance on us.

When we have worn it for that occasion we once again take it off and store it away for future use. Now, not every one of us stores our clothes exactly alike.

Some of us just take off our clothes and discard them on the closest chair or the floor. Some of us throw the clothes in the laundry or take it to the dry cleaners to clean for future use. Others neatly put the clothes back on a hanger or folded nice into drawers. Some people buy clothes, put them away and never take the price tag off them; they just sit in their closets, never to be used after it was purchased.

Eventually our clothes get old, fall out of style, we outgrow them, they get too worn to wear and they get tossed away, sold or given to a local charity.

This is the cycle of a piece of clothing.

Friendship is not unlike shopping for an article of clothing.

For many of us we departmentalize our friends, we have church friends and work friends, leisure time friends and athletic friends. Just like the department store, people come in all shapes and sizes, colors and fabrics and each person carry a price tag that comes at a price for being their friend.

A friend is defined as someone we know and like, friendly is defined as likely to support, favor or help.

We go up to the rack and look through the various garments. We are no different, we look at people and choose the ones we think we will like or have a natural or common interest. Conversing with someone for the first time is like putting the article of clothing up to us to see how it will look on us if we're to put it on. In our conversations we are constantly analyzing this person to see if they will share our interest. We generally look for people who make us look and feel good about ourselves.

In an article of clothing we take from that garment or put on that garment to make us look and feel better about ourselves. People are no different, we choose friendships based on our desire to take something from that person to make us look and feel better about ourselves.

Rarely do we go into a friendship thinking how can serve this person, what joy, peace and happiness I can bring to their lives. On the contrary we ask what joy, peace and happiness can they bring to our lives. If we like what we hear and see we may attempt to engage the person in future activities. This is just like putting the clothes on in the dressing room.

If we really like the person we will spend more and more time with them – we have made the decision to buy this article of clothing. Each time we put on the article of clothing or meet together with our friend we assess how that article, like the friendship, makes us feel about ourselves, we are typically still in take mode.

Sooner or later circumstances change and we no longer value the friendship, we discard them just as we would an article of clothing.

Some clothes meet our needs for a long time, some for a short time; some never make it out of the closet. Our friendships are no different, some meet our needs for a short time, and others for a long time and some we attempt to cultivate but lose interest rather quickly.

Friends come and go, just like the seasons; some friends remain friends for life.

Unlike clothing which goes out of style, gets worn out, a good friendship is like gold, it never loses its luster. A true friendship is developed when you love and serve another without expectation of receiving anything in return. Service and serving are the glue that welds friends together forever. We learn that the true value of a friendship is in not how much can we take from this person but on how much you can give.

JFK said it right when he said “ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” Friendships are no different.

Service never falls out of season.

The seasons may come and go but true friends stay together forever. They are built on trust, sharing a common thread of service to one another.

Thank you Lord for this inspiration, thank you Jesus for being my friend. Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ. I humble myself before you and give you the glory and honor and praise. Amen.

To learn more about this subject, please free free to contact me at coachbillconley@gmail.com

Sound advice for life (Motivation coach and speaker, Entrepreneur, Life Coach, Author, Father)

Twitter:  billconley7

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