Where Is the Gratitude - A Hard Truth for Parents Who Expect Grandparents to Co Parent Without Appreciation

Where Is the Gratitude

A Hard Truth for Parents Who Expect Grandparents to Co Parent Without Appreciation

There is a question that needs to be asked loudly and without apology. What are you doing to show appreciation to the grandparents who are helping raise your child

Not what do you say occasionally. Not a casual thank you in passing. Not an assumption that they already know you appreciate them. What are you actually doing

Because here is the truth that many parents do not want to hear. When you show little to no gratitude, what you are really communicating is this. You expect it. You feel entitled to it. You believe their time, energy, and love should be freely given simply because they are family.

That mindset is not love. It is entitlement.

Grandparents who co parent your child are not simply helping here and there. They are giving up retirement freedom. They are giving up rest. They are rearranging schedules. They are spending their own money. They are absorbing emotional responsibility. They are stepping back into parenting mode after they already raised you.

And yet many of them receive little more than silence, assumptions, and expectations.

This article is written for the grandparents who are too polite to speak up. And it is written for the parents who desperately need to hear what they may never be told to their face.

The Uncomfortable Question You Avoid

What did you get your parents or in laws for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day

What did you get them for their birthday

What did you give them for Christmas

Now ask the harder question. Was it even remotely reflective of the hundreds or thousands of hours they spend helping raise your child

If the honest answer is not much or nothing at all, then you need to hear this clearly. That is exactly what you are telling them they are worth to you.

You may not intend it that way. But intention does not erase impact.

A small gift. No card. No thoughtful acknowledgment. No effort. No intentional gratitude. That sends a message whether you like it or not. The message is that their sacrifice is expected, not appreciated.

Thank You Is Not Enough

A thank you from time to time is not enough.

Not when grandparents are effectively co-parenting.
Not when they are saving you thousands or tens of thousands of dollars in childcare costs.
Not when they are altering their lives so you can live yours unencumbered.

Words without action eventually ring hollow.

If gratitude never costs you anything, it is not gratitude. It is politeness at best.

When Was the Last Time You Took Them Out

When was the last time you took your parents or in laws out to dinner solely to say thank you

Not because it was a holiday.
Not because it was expected.
Not because others were watching.

But because you genuinely wanted to acknowledge what they do

If you cannot remember, that should bother you.

Grandparents should not be the ones constantly giving while parents keep receiving.

Cards Matter More Than You Think

When was the last time you sent them a card that simply said we really appreciate all that you do for us

Not a rushed text.
Not a vague comment.
A handwritten reminder that their effort is seen and valued.

That card would likely mean more than you realize. Because many grandparents quietly wonder if anyone notices what they give up.

Gifts Are Not About Money

They Are About Recognition

This is not about expensive gifts. It is about thought, intention, and acknowledgment.

A meaningful gift says I see you.
A joint gift for both grandparents says we recognize you as a team.
A complete absence of effort says something too.

And no. The excuse of being busy does not hold up. If you are busy enough to rely on them, you are busy enough to show appreciation.

They Are Saving You Far More Than You Admit

Let us talk numbers for a moment.

If you were paying for childcare, transportation, meals, activities, and flexibility, the cost would be staggering. Tens of thousands of dollars per year is not an exaggeration.

And yet many grandparents receive less appreciation than a paid sitter would receive. That should stop you in your tracks.

Why Should They Keep Doing It

Here is a hard question.

If you show little gratitude, little effort, and constant expectation, why should they keep doing it

They do it because they love the child. Not because they owe you.

But love should never be exploited.

When parents operate from entitlement, they slowly drain the joy from what grandparents are giving. And one day, that well runs dry.

This Is Not About Guilt

It Is About Responsibility

This article is not about shaming. It is about accountability.

If you have chosen to prioritize work, travel, social life, and personal freedom, then you must also choose to honor the people making that possible.

Parenting is your responsibility. When others step in, appreciation should increase, not decrease.

The Wake Up Call

Grandparents are not on standby for your convenience.
They are not there to be summoned.
They are not required to sacrifice endlessly without acknowledgment.

They have already raised their children. This stage of life was meant to be different. When they step back into parenting roles, it should be met with deep gratitude and intentional appreciation.

So ask yourself honestly.

What are you giving back
How are you showing love
What sacrifices are you making for them
What reminders are you offering that say we do not take you for granted

If the answer is nothing or very little, then this is your wake-up call.

Because one day, the help may stop. And when it does, you may finally understand the value of what you had all along.