A Message to Our Sons and Daughters: Show Gratitude for the Grandparents Who Help Raise Your Children

A Message to Our Sons and Daughters: Show Gratitude for the Grandparents Who Help Raise Your Children

Introduction

Being a grandparent is one of life’s sweetest blessings. There is nothing quite like seeing your children grow into adults and then having the joy of holding their children—our grandchildren—in our arms. It is a privilege and a joy to love them, spoil them, and watch them grow. We cherish the laughter, the hugs, and the moments when a grandchild’s eyes light up simply because Grandma or Grandpa has walked into the room.

But let us be honest: there is another side to the story that is rarely spoken. As grandparents, many of us find ourselves stepping in—not occasionally, but consistently—while you, our sons and daughters, work long hours, go on vacations, or attend to the endless demands of your lives. We pick the children up from school, take them to practices, sit with them at night, and fill in the gaps that modern parenting leaves behind. We do it out of love, but make no mistake: it requires time, energy, and resources.

We have already raised our children—you. We have walked the long path of sleepless nights, scraped knees, sick days, homework battles, and growing pains. We fulfilled our duty and gave our lives to raising a family. That season was beautiful, but it was also exhausting. Now, as grandparents, we do not seek to raise another child. We do not wish to be taken for granted, as if our role is to serve indefinitely as unpaid babysitters simply because you have chosen careers, vacations, or lifestyles that keep you from being fully present.

We help out because we love you and we love your children. But love without appreciation begins to feel like an obligation. And obligation, when unrecognized, becomes a burden. When the only acknowledgment we receive for weeks of effort is a “thank you” or a Christmas gift that amounts to nothing more than a picture of the child—when we have spent far more on gifts for you and for the child—it communicates something painful: that our sacrifice is invisible to you.

This is not about money. This is not about keeping score. It is about respect. It is about acknowledgment. It is about the simple human need to know that our effort matters and that you care enough to show it in tangible ways. Taking us to dinner, surprising us with a small gift, or simply showing a consistent attitude of gratitude would go a long way.

Grand parenting is a gift, but it is not a responsibility. We are not here to raise your children. We are here to love them, to support you, and to occasionally step in when needed. But if you expect us to consistently carry the weight, and then you need to show us—through action, not just words—that we are appreciated, respected, and valued.

1. The Role of Grandparents
Grandparents should be a joyful presence, not a second set of parents. When we step in to help, it should be because we want to—not because we are expected to. Yet too often, our “help” turns into routine childcare while parents pursue careers, vacations, or personal lives. This shifts the balance from joy to responsibility, and without appreciation, it begins to feel like exploitation.

2. The Reality of Sacrifice
Every hour we spend watching your child is an hour taken from our retirement, from our rest, from our own plans and commitments. We gladly sacrifice that time when it’s needed, but sacrifice without gratitude wears thin. It leaves us feeling unseen. And the truth is: we don’t owe you this. We choose it. That choice deserves acknowledgment.

3. The Disrespect of Being Taken for Granted
When our efforts are met with little more than a passing “thank you,” while you shower your children and yourselves with luxuries, it stings. When Christmas comes and the gift from you is a photo of your child—while we have spent money, time, and effort blessing both you and them—it feels like an imbalance. We are not asking for lavishness. We are asking for effort. A meal, a thoughtful gift, or a day that says, “we see what you do and we value it.”

4. The Example You Are Setting for Your Children
Your children are watching. They see how you treat us. They see whether you honor us or take us for granted. And make no mistake: they will learn from it. If they see you using us without gratitude, they will one day treat you the same way. If they see you honor and respect us, they will carry that same honor forward into their own lives.

5. The Call for Appreciation
We do not ask for much. We do not demand constant rewards or elaborate gestures. What we ask for is simple: acknowledgment. Take us to lunch. Invite us to dinner. Show us, in real ways, that you value the time, energy, and love we pour into your children and into your lives. Because without that, we feel more like babysitters than grandparents.

Conclusion

Grand parenting should be a season of joy, not a second tour of duty. We love our grandchildren deeply. We love you, our sons and daughters, just as deeply. But love without appreciation breeds resentment, and resentment slowly erodes relationships. That is not what we want. We want to be partners with you in raising the next generation—not servants who are taken for granted.

You may think our sacrifices are small, but to us, they are large. They take time, energy, and resources we could devote elsewhere. And yet, we give them willingly. The least you can do is acknowledge that with more than words. Actions matter. Taking us out for a meal, surprising us with a gift, showing consistent gratitude—these small things go a long way in saying, “We see you, we value you, and we appreciate you.”

We are not asking for extravagance. We are not demanding repayment. We are asking for respect, for appreciation, and for recognition of the fact that we are helping you shoulder the most important responsibility you will ever have: raising your children.

Because here’s the truth: if you continue to take us for granted, the relationship will suffer. Resentment will grow. And one day, you may find yourselves without the support you have relied on. But if you choose gratitude—if you choose to honor and appreciate us—you will not only strengthen your bond with us, but you will also set an example for your children of what it means to value family.

So to our sons and daughters, hear us clearly: we are not just babysitters. We are grandparents. We love your children, and we love you. But love requires reciprocity. Show us that we matter. Show us that you care. Because while we ask so little, what we do is worth a great deal. And it’s time for you to step up.