7 signs your relationship may be in trouble

7 signs your relationship may be in trouble

A very close friend of mine came to me a few days ago and indicated that she felt as though her relationship with her boyfriend may be in trouble but wasn’t quite sure.  I proceeded to ask her a few probing questions and this is what she shared with me.

Q: I asked her if her boyfriend felt a need to be right or always get the last word during their conversations.

First she said what conversations? I haven’t had one of those with my partner for what seems like forever.  Then she indicated to me that her boyfriend always feels a need to be right, no matter what the subject and she also indicated that he wouldn’t let go of any conversation until he had the last word.

Tell tail sign number 1 your relationship may be in trouble:  Your relationship is in trouble, if your boyfriend has to one up you on every conversation or always be right.

Q: I then asked her if her boyfriend snipped at her, become critical of her easily and put her down at home or in front of others?

She couldn’t say yes fast enough.  She went on to say that her boyfriend was always critical of her and she felt as though she couldn’t do anything right in his eyes.

Tell tail sign number 2 your relationship may be in trouble:  Your relationship is in trouble if your boyfriend is constantly being critical of you, snipping at you about many things and puts you down at home and in front of others.

Q: I then proceeded to ask her if her boyfriend seems to spend more time on his phone, the Internet, watching TV or seemed more obsessed with himself, spending more time away from her than with her.

She indicated that he had grown distant, that he was spending more time away from home playing golf and spending time with his friends.  When he was home, he seemed to be preoccupied with everything but her.  She further explained that even though he was at home, it seemed as though his thoughts were elsewhere.

Tell tail sign number 3.  You know your relationship is in trouble if your boyfriend is spending more and more time away from the intimacy of your relationship.

Q: I asked her if her boyfriend became angry or frustrated easily and did it seem like he was ready to pick a fight for no apparent reason.

She told me of a recent event where her boyfriend and her were driving in the car with the music playing.  When she went to change the station, he lit into her and started yelling at her about how he hated the music she listened to.  He told her, her choice of music was stupid and he was fed up and was no longer going to subject his ears to this childish music.  Stunned, she didn’t know what to think and just sat there in silence the remainder of the trip.

Tell tail sign number 4.  You know your relationship is in trouble when your boyfriend randomly and for no apparent reason wants to pick a fight with you, gets angry or upset at the littlest things.

Q: I wanted to know more about their communication style so I asked her what was like between the two of them when they sat down to discuss a sensitive subject. 

She said rather emphatically, we don’t discuss sensitive subjects, they are off the table, taboo, never talked about. She went on to explain that there were a number of difficult topical subjects that when brought up led to a fight, so after a period of time, these topics had become off limits, never to be discussed.   I expressed my concern and remorse.  While communication between partners can be difficult, it is important to always keep the lines of communication alive.  She agreed and sunk in her chair now knowing after a few short questions that her relationship was indeed in trouble.

Tell tail sign number 5.  You know your relationship is in trouble when you unable to communicate about any subject freely, openly and without fear.

Q:  I asked her if she felt there was any time that her boyfriend may have lied to her, hid things from her or didn’t tell her the whole truth about something.

She indicated he had lied to her many times, that she was never quite sure where he was at and when she confronted him, she never seemed to get the whole story or the story changed as he was telling it.  She also said that he hid things that he had bought from her and when she confronted him, he indicated he had that item for quite some time. She also said that for no reason at all he seemed to lie about little things that didn’t matter at all.  Last week, she said, he lied about his golf score, now why would he do that, who cares I thought.  Latter in the day, his friend and his wife were over for a few drinks and he bragged about how he had beaten my husband in golf by 6 strokes and then announced his score.  I did a little math and figured that my husband had lied to me.  I didn’t say anything at the time, but I was curious why he would not be truthful to me about something as insignificant as his golf score.

Tell tail number 6: You know your relationship is in trouble when your boyfriend lies to about little insignificant things, hides his purchases from you or is deceptive of his whereabouts.

Q: My last question to her involved his use of alcohol, prescription drugs, drugs in general and pornography.  I asked her if her boyfriend was misusing any of the above.

She had to think for a minute and said that he was drinking much more these days, getting drunk on the weekends and getting loud and obnoxious when he did drank to excess.  She was certain he had viewed pornography but wasn’t certain to what degree. I then asked her about her sex life and she indicated that it had been a while since they had good sex.  They did have sex, but she thought he was a bit to selfish and wasn’t interested in satisfying her.  She didn’t think he was using drugs, but didn’t know for sure.

Tell tail number 7: You know your relationship is in trouble when your boyfriend starts a new pattern of alcohol, drug or pornography use.

There are a number of different signs your relationship may be in trouble, these seven may seem quite obvious, but some reason reviewing them may help you see clearly if it is time for you do some serious thinking about your relationship.

To learn more about this subject, please free free to contact me at coachbillconley@gmail.com

Sound advice for life (Motivation coach and speaker, Entrepreneur, Life Coach, Author, Father)

Twitter:  billconley7

Please go to billconley.net and take the free personal values assessment.  It only takes a few minutes and at the end of the assessment you will be emailed a 15 page report that I am sure will be enlightening to you,.

You may click on the link below to take the assessment.

Free Personal Values Assessment