Expectation and Relationships

 

      Expectation and Relationships

 

Let’s start with a few words and their definitions.

 

Expect – to look forward to, to believe to be probable. To consider due. To presume, suppose.

 

Expectation – the act or state of expecting. Eager anticipation of something coming. Something expected. Future prospects.

 

Believe – to accept as real or true. To think, suppose.

 

Belief – trust, confidence. Something as a tenet, that is believed, conviction.

 

Tenet – a basic principle, doctrine or dogma.

 

Probable – likely to become a reality, plausible but not certain or proved.

 

Due – payable at once or on demand. Owing. Proper, fitting. Scheduled or expected to occur. Something that is deserved or owed. Meeting special requirements, sufficient.

 

Consider – to think about seriously. To regard as, deem. To judge, believe.

 

Presume – to assume to be true, take for granted. To act without authority or leave, dare. To take undue advantage of something.

 

Presuppose – to suppose beforehand, assume. To require as a necessary prior condition.

 

Presumptuous – unduly or impertinently bold, forward.

 

Suppose – to assume as true, for the sake of an argument. To consider likely or probable. To expect.

 

Assume – to take for granted without proof, suppose. At affect, feign – assumed an attitude of indifference. To take upon oneself, undertake.

 

Feign – to give a false appearance. To dissemble, pretend.

 

Affect – to stimulate or imitate in order to impress, pretend. To like, prefer – affects flashy cloths.

 

Look – or if you add “look for” as in look forward – means to search for, expect.

 

Expectation – the act or state of expecting, when we expect something we look forward and believe that it is probable that we will receive it.

 

A stronger form of expect is to believe it is due, we presume or suppose it is due to us or our company.

 

Expectation is the act of the devil

 

Heavenly Father has called us into service.

 

Serve – to be a servant. To prepare and offer. To supply service to, wait on. To be assistant to, benefit. To meet the requirements of, satisfy.

 

Require – to need, to insist upon, demand. To obligate, compel.

 

Need – a lack of something necessary, useful or desirable. Obligation or requirement.

 

Insist – to be firm in a course of demand. To assert strongly.

 

Obligate – a binding responsibility, as a contract or promise. Indebtedness to another for a favor.

 

Favor – a kind act. A kind or friendly attitude.

 

Indebted – obligated to another, as for money or a favor.

 

Owe – to be indebted to the amount of. To have a moral obligation to offer.

 

It is no wonder people go absolutely insane when they expect something from someone else. We believe we are owed something for our act of kindness or service, to require, insist, and obligate others to pay back to us that which we gave.

First of all that is impossible because the ability to measure an act of kindness for another is futile. A system of I did this for you so you must (obligated) do this for me is wrought with falsehoods, expectation, presumptions, erroneous requirements and misleading beliefs. How can we believe or come to expect that an act of kindness given freely is due or owed something. The act of service (providing assistance, benefit) should be and I strongly use the word should, I probably could use the word must be freely given without any expectation, indebtedness due. We cannot obligate someone to perform a service for us when we have given our service (to serve) free of charge.

 

Gratis – without charge, free.

 

All these words that start with Grat as in grateful, gratify, gratitude, gratuitous, gratuity.

 

Gratuity – a tip for service.

 

Gratuitous – given or done without payment, free.

 

Grateful – thankful, appreciative, expressing gratitude.

 

Gratify – to give a source of pleasure to. To fulfill the desires of, indulge.

 

Gratitude – the state of being grateful, thankfulness. Service to others is said to be gratuitous – given or done without payment, done freely.

 

Free – not under necessity or obligation. Costing nothing, without charge. Something given or received without cost.

 

Cost – amount paid or asked for as in a purchase. Loss, sacrifice. You see many of us are under the false belief that service comes with a price. That you owe me or obligated to pay me back for that which I freely give, we attach strings to our giving, we believe or give off the impression that we have sacrificed, labored on your behalf therefore I am entitled to the amount of effort (work performed) I put in. For many of us service or serving others is work.

 

Work – physical or mental effort directed towards a goal. Something done as part of a job, task or duty.

 

Works – an act or deed of charity.

Many people believe that what they do for others constitutes work. Our society has taught us that when we work, we get paid something for our effort. When we give a gift freely to someone we do not attach a form of payment to that gift.

 

Gift – something that is given. The act of giving.

 

Give – to make a present of. To furnish, provide. To donate, contribute. To place in the keeping or possession of. To convey (I give you my love).

 

A gift of service freely given requires no payment. One is under no obligation, no payment is due, you are not indebted to nor are you expected to make restitution for that which is freely given.

 

Heavenly Father has called us to love and serve, not presume and obligate.

 

Jesus Christ died on the cross for the redemption of our sins, he freely gave himself in death so that we may be saved and receive Eternal Salvation with him. Service knit with expectation is not a gift but is riddled with pain, frustration, agony, and bitterness. An act of service or kindness is not work it is an act of love and charity.

 

Love – enthusiasm or fondness. Intense affection. A feeling of attraction from sexual desire. A beloved person. A score of 0 in tennis.

 

WOW!

 

Is this how our society defines love. An intense affection for, a feeling of attraction from sexual desires. That is it. That’s all. Is that how our Heavenly Father would define it? How about…

 

Charity – help or relief given to the poor. A fund or institution that helps the poor. An act or feeling of good will or affection. Tolerance or leniency in judging others. God’s love for mankind. Brotherly love for others.

 

Hope – to want or wish for with a feeling of confident expectation.

 

Another word for love in the bible is charity, what do we think of when we use the word charity – someone in need? There is also an expectation that you give to charity, that you don’t expect anything in return from the charitable organization except a tax deduction. We think of charities providing to the underprivileged of a society. We therefore distance our self from the underprivileged by giving our gift through a charitable organization. Many of us don’t see it as giving as much as we do getting rid of things, discarding items we have no longer use of.

 

Just like people, we discard people in our lives when they stop bringing value to us.

 

As long as we perceive value being exchanged we continue pursuing the relationship. When we perceive an unequal amount of value being exchanged we determine to disconnect our self from the work associated with maintaining that relationship.

 

Have you ever heard a relationship is work, you can’t expect anything for free or everything comes with a price.

 

Our relationships are very similar to that, they come with a price tag attached to them. Relationships often begin on a prerequisite of expectations, assumptions, self- fulfillment and greed. The bottom line is – what is in it for me? How are my needs, wants and desires going to be fulfilled by virtue of, by or through an association with this other person. Our relationships therefore begin based on a set of unexpressed assumptions and expectation. The only way to determine the value of love is by keeping score of our gifts and services rendered measured against the gifts and services received. As long as they have the appearance or effect of equality we are said to be in love, or are in the act of loving or that we are loved.

 

Our soul longs to be loved, to be cared for, to have a sense of worth, esteem, value, completeness. We long to be loved.

 

Unfortunately for many of us we understand the false belief that we are by nature undeserving of love. We believe we must work at love, work to be loving and work at the act of loving. All of these notions are false and when carefully analyzed unattainable.

 

Love is a gift meant to be freely given without obligation or strings attached. Love does not expect, assume, obligate, require, presuppose, feign, affect, cost. Love is not bought with a price, it is not purchased or sold, but is freely given without strings attached. Love is free, it is meant to be given gratis.

 

When love is given we are to be grateful with a sense of gratitude and a person should accept the gift unencumbered.

 

Encumber – to weigh down unduly, burden, to hinder, impede.

 

That is to say we should not believe we are to provide anything in exchange for the love or gift of love. Love is a gift of serving one’s mate with charity and kindness.

 

Kindness – warm hearted, friendly or generous in nature.

 

It has been said that a gift given but not accepted is therefore not a gift. When you give a gift to someone and that person immediately associates or catalogs that gift in their mind with a future payment of a like kind then the gift we have given is not to be considered a gift because there is an expectation assigned to the gift. There is no payment due with a gift.

 

It is said “Love is giving without expecting anything in return.”

 

Could anything be truer?

 

How do we bring ourselves to the point of giving, providing service, charity and love without assumptions, expectations and obligation. What do the scriptures tell us?

 

We know they tell us to love our Lord, love one another, love and serve, the greatest of these is charity. But what do we get for all our acts of kindness, our service, our love. Rewards – 1. joy, 2. treasures in heaven, 3. eternal salvation, 4. prosperity, 5. love returned, 6. gift of the counselor – the Holy Spirit, 7. peace, 8. satisfaction for obeying and performing the work of the Lord.

 

What is the work of the Lord? To bring about Eternal Salvation to all men, regardless of race, creed or color. The Lord's work is to see that everyone is reunited with him after our temporal life has ended. He wants to see every single one of us in heaven with him. We are on this earth to bring about our own salvation.

 

Secondarily we are called to bring about the salvation of others. Don’t get me wrong, by our actions, others will not be saved, but by our actions and words others may be brought into the light and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore we are called to be a voice to the people, not only a literal voice but our unspoken voice should speak volumes about our Heavenly Father's love and plan for our return into his presence.

 

9. understanding, wisdom, clarity of thoughts, words and deeds and lastly but certainly not the least.  10. abundant life unencumbered by the demands of man.

 

We will be free to live in this world but not be constrained by the demands and obligations of the world. We will experience happiness, an abundance of happiness that we know is not tied to anyone or anything. We will truly be free to love the Lord with all our heart and soul and love our neighbor as our self.

 

Expectation kills or destroys the spirit of the Lord, love freely given brings us into the spirit of the Lord.